


On and Off the Clock

by waywardmuse



Series: Monsters of Mars [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Gen, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 17:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11040555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardmuse/pseuds/waywardmuse
Summary: The only thing worse than the boss calling her all day is not hearing from the boss at all.Then the fallout of a case barges in.Well, it's not Rita's fault she gets hungry when she worries...





	On and Off the Clock

Juno is late.

It’s not a particularly unusual occurrence; he often follows clues wherever and whenever they pop up. Rita doesn’t complain _too_ much. She never completely regained her own sense of time after all that cryofreeze space travel in the twenty third century.

Her boss, however, has impeccable timing in calling her during the good parts of her shows and Rita hasn’t gotten a single peep from him. Well, not a peep after he asked her to hack into the Iris Building’s cameras and then set him up with the simplest tracking app for the chasing down that thief this morning.

She honestly doesn’t know what is taking him so long; this is far from Juno’s first thief and considering what was stolen, Juno certainly wouldn’t take his sweet old time with retrieving it.

Rita chews on the end of her stylus. Perhaps she should try to comm the boss again.

Seventh time is the charm? Or something. Whatever number is supposed to be _the charm_ was a prime number anyway.

The door buzzes.

Did Juno forget how to use the scanner again? Really, you would think _he_ was the one who had to keep track of centuries of new technology.

Rita taps the button to let him in. “Mistah Steel, I can’t believe you made me wait all day—wait, you’re not Mistah Steel!”

Rita will never get over how humans and her boss can enter any room without so much as a hint of invitation. Why, even if Rita could just enter through any doorway, she wouldn’t be so boorish about it!

The woman who enters has such an angular face that Rita can practically see arc lines and degrees listed out to the second decimal point. Vaguely familiar...but that didn’t mean much when Rita could still recall the faces of the first several groups of Mars colonists. Just today Rita swears the barista at the cafe two blocks away is a spitting image of the chief botanist of the fourth colony wave. Juno interrupted her before she could ask about the kid’s ancestry though he did buy her a second latte. He _never_ does that.

He even made up an excuse—”I’d rather put up with you on a caffeine high than subject anyone to you digging up ghosts again”—to hide how sweet he can be.

 _This_ lady is no botanist nor ghost but she is awfully _loud_. “And where is that-that scoundrel!”

Her accent and clothing strike Rita as just barely wealthy enough to buy the entire high-rise and she takes a moment to place who this women is. Long braided hair like the fake aristocrat in _Venusian Highlands_ who cheated on the heroine—ah.  

“Oh, you are the lady who cheated on Eva Albans. She’s divorcing you or something, so you have to be...Patti Egret.”

The woman puts her hands on her hips and, wow, her elbows are just as pointy as the rest of her. “I am still Patti Albans and you will address me as so.”

“Okay, Missus Elbows...”

“Albans!”

Rita twirls the stylus in her hand impatiently. “Why are you here?”

“I’m going to convince that dirty, rotten—” And there Missus Albans uses a terrible word that is no way to describe anyone, let alone a lady like Rita’s boss. “—of a private eye to take back his lies and tell Eva the truth.”

Now, Rita has seen all the dirty pictures and one of Juno's many least favorite things to do is to prove suspicious spouses correct—Rita takes care of that when she can—so she has no doubt the accusations.   

“The boss ain’t here. I can take a message.” Rita says earnestly. Sure, she _can_ take the message but there is no reason to actually bug the boss with this.

Speaking of the boss, he really has been gone too long. Rita is getting hungry but she doesn’t want to go out and get a bite to eat while worrying for Juno; that’s asking for a stomach ache. Rita taps her stylus on the icon for her tracking app. Assuming the boss hasn’t lost both his hat and keys, she can pull up his location.

“I will not wait. You will tell me where this fraud right now!”

“Hold on a moment, I’m checking—huh.”

What kind of guy living in one of those sky mansions needs to steal from the boss?

“Well? Hurry up already. I do not have time for this!”

Her voice reaches a new annoying shrill and Rita reflexively squeezes her fist tight enough to crack the stylus.

That is the last straw.

If Juno needs her, he’ll just have to wait for her to get a snack. Rita takes off her glasses, folding the frame and putting them safely on the computer monitor. “Missus Elbows—”

“Albans!”

Rtia’s teeth feel heavy in her mouth. “Like I was saying, Missus Elb...Albans. Look into my eyes for a moment.”

“I will not be talked to like this!” The angry woman leans over the desk, pointing a finger in Rita’s face—so _rude_ —but she does make eye contact finally. Rita pushes against her thoughts, clearing out all that distress and guilt. The woman lets out as gasp and Rita knows she has her.

“So Missus Elbows, let’s talk lady to lady, like civilized people. I’m hoping you don’t have a heart or bleeding condition? No? Oh good…”

* * *

Rita walks a rather pale Missus Albans out of the office and calls her a cab. It’s the least she can do, Rita did take a little over two pints of blood—Juno better not have gotten himself in too much trouble, worrying makes her _hungry_ —and she’s on her way out anyways.

“Now Missus Elbows, I’m glad we worked this out but you really shouldn’t be cheating on your spouse if you are going to get all bent out of shape over divorce.” Rita says as she gently ushers Missus Albans into the cab. Really, humans never do change; same drama with cooler tech. Though that does make reality almost as good as the shows, just with sloppier writing. “And be a good lady and be sure to tip the driver when you get home.”

Missus Albans nods.

Rita can feel the slightest push against her will. The suggestions will wear off soon yet maybe the message will stay long enough to keep Missus Albans from getting into more trouble for a little while.

Rita wishes could do that to Juno! She wouldn’t have to resort to locking his apartment to force him to recuperate all the time. Juno really needs to take better care of himself, otherwise he won’t even last four decades! And then Rita will have to find and train a new connection to the present. Again.

If only Juno was a bit more human...

Though if Juno was human enough to pull this trick, Rita would have skipped right to making him one of her kind.  Juno would adapt well to the near immortality. He may be a bit squeamish but he's not the sort to fade to boredom, instead always busy sticking his nose into things and stirring up trouble...

Oh!

Speaking of trouble...

Rita checks her tracker. Juno’s dot is still in the same place as it was when the cheating wife came in. What is he still doing on one of those floating mansions anyway? It’s not in Juno’s nature to remain so high up.

He better be quick with an invitation and explanation when she gets there. The HCPD has threatened to make Rita take the driving school course _in person_ when she gets her next no-fly zone ticket. The things her boss makes her do!

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Does Rita view Juno as her non-functional renfield? Yes.~~
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> This is going to be a first in a series :)


End file.
